Confessions
by dotninja
Summary: Hermione's thoughts when Ron begins to like Lavender. Set in HBP. Oneshot.


Oh. My. Gosh. He likes Lavender Brown. I practically **fainted** from hearing that. But of course, why would I let anyone see that? So…I just acted like I was teasing him about it.

When deep down, I'm totally depressed about it.

I don't get how everyone's like, "Oh, my God, Hermione, you and Ron should go out!" Sure, whatever. If we did…well, first off, would he even ask me?

Seriously. I don't get why people don't like him. What's **not** to die for? He's got great hair, awesome personalities, eyes that just light up, and…dudes, let's face it, he **is **one of my best friends. He's smart, even if he doesn't act like it. And he's the only one that understands me. I don't know why I've fallen for him in the first place. All the other people actually have a **reason** for liking who they do. And when they ask me, "Why do you like Ron?" I shrug and say, "Well, I dunno." Because…I don't know. Sure, he's cool, nice, got the looks, and **everything**…I just don't know what I see in him. All I know is that when I'm around him, everything just feels…complete.

Why does he like Lavender? I want to wring his neck until he tells me; then I remember, "Oh, yea, I'm not supposed to like you. Oops, my bad." Okay. Let's try to imagine what he sees.

She's short. (Not a good thing; for guys, though, yea.) She's smart. She's cute. (She can't match him wit for wit.) She dresses neatly. (She can't converse with him for one minute, argue the next; then go back to conversing.) She's noisy. (Again, not the best thing, either. Ugh.)

That's all I can come up with. What does he see in her? Can't he tell that she's not interested?

And why am I so obsessed about this? I don't get it. What is wrong with me? I just want it all to go away. What is happening to me? Why won't this stop?

Maybe I should just walk up to him and say: "Hey, Ron, I was just wondering—could you do me a really huge favor and get out of my head? You've been in there since forever. I'm just wondering if you're done with your business so then I can finally think. Thanks, see you."

No way!! Not even if I wrote it in a note—it just wouldn't work. I…I can't tell him either, because…well, because…I just can't. Not even if someone paid me a million Galleons. I just don't have the nerve.

Maybe I should ask Ginny if I should tell him. Gr. What a day to **not** have school. It doesn't help a bit. I just really, really, really, **really** want to ask Ginny. Just…argh. I should've asked him today, but…Ron was right freaking there! How am I going to ask Ginny about Ron, her brother…I got it.

I'll ask Ron about Ron. I'll be like, "Hey, uh, d'you think I should tell the guy I like that I like him?"

And if he asks why I'm asking him, I'll say, "Because I don't wanna ask Harry. And…you're the only one left. Bwaha. Anyway, just answer the question."

And if he asks who, I'll say, "This really cute 'n' nice guy…"

"What year?"

"Do I have to answer that?"

"Uh…yea."

"Ugh, fine, if you **must** know, he's in our year."

"Sure."

And this is where I have to remember how to breathe. "Um, Ron, you know those rumors…?"

"What?"

"You know, the rumors that keep saying that, you know…um…that we like each other…uh…I…better go…do…um…something…that…I haven't figured out yet, bye!" That would be my cue to run off the stage, screaming.

Ugh. I know I've said this about a million times…but…I just don't have the nerve to. Something else just takes over when I'm around him—I don't know who it is, or why it is; all I know that around him I'm confused.

Note to self: write down possible questions and answers he will ask. Practice, so you can say them without a hitch. And ask him what he sees in Lavender, because all they do is snog. That's all, for now.

Wish me luck. I just…really like Ron. I really like him—a lot. The only thing I'm good for is answers. He told me himself. I wish I didn't have to believe it, but I know that's what he thinks of me: the girl who checks his homework.

Good night.

Love, Hermione Granger


End file.
